Who am I?
My name is Laura Milleker, and I am a senior International Business student at DU from Annapolis, Maryland.
Who am I… REALLY?
Tatum explains how “The aspect of identity that is the target of others’ attention, and subsequently of our own, often is that which sets us apart as exceptional or ‘other’ in their eyes”. It is for this reason that I had to confer with others as well as look introspectively at myself to answer this question of who I really am. I believe that the environment in which people are in, as well as the point we are in our lives contributes greatly to who we are, how we see ourselves, and how others perceive us.
Before college, I would describe myself in the context within my family. Growing up in a close-knit neighborhood, I was always “one of the Millekers” by family friends. In high school, I was “Ellie’s sister” because many people had known my older sister before they knew me. However, when I came halfway across the country for college, the context shifted for me. There was no connected family aspect, and this created the opportunity for me to be identified individually. Here at the University of Denver, I am an Athlete, and that is what I am known for because that is the group in which I identify. As a member of a team, I like to associate myself with my unit, my new family.
Here at college, academics and social settings are merged, and this creates my identity of a student-athlete. There are aspects of this label that I like, and others I do not like Here at DU, I believe that our student athletes are driven, upstanding, and hard-working; and in our small community, we share values that I am proud to have. This may not be the same as larger universities. However, there are sometimes negative attitudes attached with student-athletes.
Within my smaller group of athletes here, I would consider myself to be in the subordinate group of “female athletes”, and I am very proud. This is something that I have found to be quite a fight for myself and my surrounding teammates, because although sports continue to evolve, equality in sports is not a reality yet. As a female athlete, I always find that we are constantly in comparison with the mens sports. Through my four years here, I have seen first-hand the depth of this inequality. Not only do women’s sports get a fraction of the funding, but also a fraction of the support, acknowledgment, and press. Comments in the airport get very old when we are constantly asked, “Are you guys as good as the men’s team?”.
So, in the context of college, if you would as friends, family, and myself the question of who I am, then answers were consistent: I am a hard-worker, I am an athlete, I am a leader, and I am outgoing. I believe these descriptors are all built out of my role as an athlete here at DU, and the skills and lessons that I have learned from being here. During my time at DU, I have learned how to deal with loss, failure, roadblocks, and time management. I have seen failure with friends, failure in school, failure in sports, and failure in my body through injuries. I have learned time-management through missing copious amounts of school due to games across the country. These missed days of school have also taught me the importance of making solid relationships with professors and classmates and most importantly, asking for help. This year, I was nominated as the captain for my team. I have learned so much about leadership in the last four years, which prepared me for this position.
The presence of social media creates a whole different image of who we are as young individuals now, and especially dictates how others perceive us. Looking at my Instagram, all of my pictures are with my teammates and playing lacrosse, with my friends in social settings, or during active experiences outdoors like hiking or snowboarding. For me, I think that my social media is actually a good reflection of how I am and what I like to do. You could see from my posts that I am outdoors a lot, I am a social person, and I play lacrosse. On the most basic level, this is accurate.
However, all things considered, at the moment in time I am writing this post, asking myself who I am, I would say I am “in between stages of my life”. The reason I say this is because my college experience has been recently cut short, leaving me home, awaiting a graduation that will not take place. I anticipate taking my LSATs in the following year, and after, I would like to apply to law school. However, I am not sure what I will do for the next year before that happens. The world seems to be stuck at pause, and I am scrambling to find my next move before it starts again.
Laura's Writing Portfolio 